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A Journey of Ups and Downs

So many times you wonder what you would do if your worst nightmare came true.

I have had recurrent dreams where I have known Elizabeth was in danger but I could not get to her And then I would wake up crying and then realize she was safe in her room.

I think when you have a child with special needs the need is to keep her safe but you want her to grow and enjoy life.

But always, ALWAYS with safety in mind.
Since Elizabeth is older, she can stay home when we are gone and she is alone.

We have a certain checklist we do prior to leaving her.  Again to keep her as independent as she wishes to be but safe as well.

But two weeks ago my worst nightmare came true.

I went to get treatment for my knee and halfway through my treatment , the tornado sirens went off!

It was a tornado warning in our area.

And the only thing I could think about was that Elizabeth was home alone.

And I could not get to her!

It was literally my nightmare came true

Thanks to a wonderful, beautiful neighbor who risked her own safety to make sure that
Elizabeth was safe in her basement
It taught me a lot that night.

It taught me to be grateful-

For the work we’ve done with Elizabeth all her life.
For laying the groundwork for her to be safe when she is alone.

For Elizabeth being able to talk on the phone with me and follow the directions I gave her during this storm until my neighbor made it to her.
And for all the safety tips we have rehearsed for her for different scenarios such as fire, someone pounding on the door etc…

I’m grateful for the work and for her being able to stay calm.

It all worked out and for that I am most grateful.

We have to let our kids live, but the world is not kind.
We have to let them grow and achieve and get to do things just like their neurotypical peers get to do.
But how do you mesh it all and keep them safe?

I honestly know that it is my work, my struggle.
It is the mind game it is finding the  of a mental balance between putting her in a room and padding  the walls and keeping her safe
Or teaching her well and  getting her to live life.
I know that I have been scared to leave her since the tornado. I haven’t told her that I’ve only told her how amazing she was and praised her for every good thing she did that night!

Only I know my internal conflict,
I know we have to work to keep her safe as she grows and achieves.

Teaching her and adjusting her supports as needed
and to treat her as the young adult that she is.
My journey like yours keeps going.

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