Happy Thanksgiving…
Now, GO!
It is like a checkered flag getting waved around the end of Thanksgiving day to signal the official start to the holiday season.
And the busy.
And the crazy.
How many times are you asked, or do WE ask, Have you finished your holiday shopping yet?
It could literally be the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and I look at the person and want to yell I don’t wanna…
I don’t wanna… get stressed.
I don’t wanna …HAVE to do this or that.
What I wanna do is to enjoy the season, my family and the reason for the season.
And I can say that the stress of the season affects Elizabeth.
Maybe not the shopping but other things like:
-Preparing for an eating at relative’s houses
-Wrapping gifts (Thank you Dyspraxia)
-Managing her feelings for when Emily is home and when she will leave again.
-Opening gifts and thanking the giver.
This last one is not unique to any of us. Some present openers are amazing in their grace and others, not so much.
But it really is something that Elizabeth struggles with.
I think it is because there is so much processing that has to go on for her to be successful and this includes finding the words to communicate as well.
And there is the sensory piece to this that is called YOU ARE ON!
ALL ATTENTION IS ON YOU!
THE SPOTLIGHT COULD NOT BE MORE ON YOU.
This is Elizabeth’s sensory kryptonite. It will send her from chatting away to saying near to nothing.
So many of our children with special needs can struggle with the social skill of giving and receiving gifts.
So, what do we do to help our Elizabeth?
Social stories: As I said, so many of our children with special needs struggle with the skill of gift giving and receiving that creating a social story can help. One that is very close to what they can expect.
We even wrote our own to make it as tailored as possible for it to be at its maximum effectiveness.
We would read it often and talk about it.
And we would break it down into manageable bits for her to remember
And lastly, we would rehearse.
And rehearse.
And then rehearse some more.
Shared expectations: What does this mean? It means that if we talk about the morning or the day or whatever we are going to do and we talk about the thing we really need her to do in the situations. Sometimes it can be one thing, sometimes more. It just depends on the situation. She is 27 now but if she was younger our expectations would have been different. And that is what makes this is a good thing, because you can make it fit your child, their needs and their abilities.
For us, we told Elizabeth that she is expected to open the gift, to thank the person for the gift, to PLACE it back in the bag or box and wait quietly and patiently until it is her turn again. No asking to leave or to have everyone hurry.
Then when the expectations are met and the situations change, we also discuss and agree on what she can do next or what will happen next. Like maybe it is giving her a bit of break time.
Not overwhelming: We never want her to feel stressed going into a dinner or family gathering or Christmas morning. So, we try to keep demands on her a bit low on the day prior or the morning of. Meaning we give her a slower schedule, some therapy music and a few more decompression breaks. Trust me, we learned that running here and there and then showing up somewhere for dinner DID NOT WORK! We did it once and we consider ourselves forever schooled.
Go slow: We know that sometimes finding the words and getting things opened can be a challenge for Elizabeth (other times, not so much) so we try to go slow as we open gifts. It seems like it is counter intuitive because sometimes she wants to get up and move but with gift opening, the slower pace allows for her to be able to anticipate a gift coming to her, to navigate its opening and to find her words. Slow keeps the stress at bay.
Easy to open: Gifts that require skills to open or are expertly taped are ones that lead to frustration. So, gift bags are a hit as are gifts that are wrapped but only lightly. She loves that success at doing it herself.
Stocking stuffers: These are little bits of easy wonderfulness! They are easy to access. They can be such a special treat or a fun toy. We have had good luck with Stocking stuffers over the years. I can also say that gift cards make nice stocking stuffers and even if your child cannot read yet, they may recognize the logo or name. Through the years, Talktools and I have become good friends with all the items we have purchased for Elizabeth’s therapy life.
I thought it might be fun for me to do my top 5 list of Stocking Stuffers! So here we go!
- Horn Kit: It might be a bit noisy but think of all the mouth work they are getting in and they don’t realize it and especially if “a holiday parade” is moving through your home and your child is making the music.
- Echo Horn: Elizabeth loved this thing so much, so would sing and talk into it all day. So getting in some speech work was easy! And fun!
- TalkTools Sensory Chewy Pencil Toppers: The need to chew is real! Offering chewing options helps them to self requlate. These are fun and functional too!
- Time Timer Plus: Cannot say enough about good about timers and their many uses. Honestly this can be used as you set expectations to give them a bit of a break, you can set a timer to help them know when their break is over.
- TalkTools Sensory Chew Necklace: How great to have and not have your child chew their shirt!? Fun and so needed!
I wish everyone a peaceful and blessed holiday season. To make memories and enjoy everyone moment you can!
See you next month,
Michele