Emotions. Stress. Life and Self-Care
Everyone, of course, has emotions.
Some have bigger emotions than others.
And some deal with them better than others.
But I think that when you have special needs in your life, emotions reach a level not shared by those who do not.
And we learn a skill of emotional survival that many do not have.
And that is learning to live on the rollercoaster of daily emotions.
Each morning, we buckle in and begin the day…and the emotions come.
With the high climb of successes, your child ate breakfast and wore that one shirt.
followed by the immediate low drop of a meltdown at lunch but wait!
Someone IS able to tutor your child…. Back up go the emotions! Until later, when you see your child upset…. back down they go.
Up and down and for fun around and around.
And we as parents and caregivers hold on tight to the bar in front of us and pray the seat belt holds.
Night comes and for many that does not guarantee sleep or rest from emotions.
And we get up and greet a new day.
Planning, working, talking, advocating….and on and on.
Emotions.
They can take a toll on us and our bodies.
We carry these emotions with us in all we do-even when we may not be with our child at the time.
I am 27 years into this journey with my beautiful Elizabeth. And at the beginning of the journey, younger me, was gung-ho.
You need us where? We are there!
10 minutes of marching for her sensory issues? I will make sure we do 20!
Tell me what Elizabeth needed, and it was as good as DONE!
But did I take time for me to work through emotions and the stress? NO
I exercised each day but that was almost medicinal- almost a necessity to be able to exhale that day.
It was just not in my world to think of true self care.
I am now what some would call a “veteran mom” and I have become an incredible advocate for self-care.
Self-Care
Two words.
But oh, what they can do for you!
IEP season is coming up and let’s just call it what it is, a really important meeting that requires preparation, work and strong advocacy skills and this means STRESS
Potential changes in funding for our kids- MORE STRESS
Planning for breaks and summer and therapies-EVEN MORE STRESS
Self-care
Again, I offer the two life-changing words to you!
It can look different for everyone, but the common denominator is that we are making sure to prioritize ourselves amidst the crazy and the busy and the stress. Making sure we matter in the equation.
Starting now, even if you are years in, will matter because in a few months, you will have created a habit that will literally become a tool in your arsenal of coping.
I used to think I was too busy to find the time.
I used to think What good is a 15 minute break when I will just go back to my busy?
I used to think that I SHOULD be doing something else important.
I used to think that Once everything is in order, I will sit down and then, THEN! I will relax.
And while indeed, these may all be true, self-care will make a difference.
And just as I have learned to become a strong advocate for my daughter, I have learned the value and complete need for self-care.
Self-Care is Essential
It can look like a walk each day or a cup of coffee with a friend.
It can look like a few minutes in the morning to say prayers or meditate.
It can look like ordering your favorite take out one night instead of cooking.
Sometimes it is just sitting for 10-15 minutes with some relaxing music and just breathing.
For me now?
I have learned MY signs of mental overload. When my brain simply cannot process one more word. When my body feels tired, but I know if has nothing to do with getting more sleep.
I know that I need a moment of a break, my bit of self-care.
I know that after, I will be ready to make calls, do work or deal with the emotions of my sweet Elizabeth much better. I can be fully, mentally present better.
You may be asking, Why the big campaign for self-care, Michele? Why now?
The answer is because I see the younger me in you and:
The running that is just getting faster.
The world that is just getting more frenetic
The decisions for your child that are just getting more complex.
The deep, heartfelt, always on, feeling of: Is my child ok/safe?
I see you and I know that the end of the year is upon you and with it comes work and stress.
So that is why.
Make yourself the priority so that the better you can do the work you need to.
Sent with love
See everyone next month