Back to School!! How does that phrase make you feel.
Doesn’t it seem like everyone was just starting to celebrate the end of the school year and the start of summer? And now you see backpacks lining the shelves at the store.
It seems summer goes by so quickly.
And before you know it you will be starting in on the long list of things to do before the beginning of a new school year. From clothes shopping to working on those incredibly long and very detailed supply lists to touring the new school/room and more.
All to make the start of the school year smooth and good for your child.
For those who have special needs in their lives, the start of the school year means doing all those things AND so much more.
The transition alone between summer schedules and school schedules can be challenging for our kids then add in all the NEW that a new school year brings…teacher, room, schedule, classes. It is all anxiety provoking for our kids.
For those who may not know, I have a daughter, Elizabeth, who has special needs. She has global dyspraxia and sensory processing disorder as well as an auditory processing disorder. Her disorders are complex and affect her life daily.
The journey with my daughter Elizabeth through the school system taught me so much. And it seemed that each year I learned more things. Things that I wish I had known the year before. So that by the time she was midway through high school, I felt I may just have this advocacy thing nailed down.
So, with that in mind, I wanted to share with you:
The Top 3 Things I Wish I Had Known During the Back-to-School Season.
1.That the First Pencil in the Cart Begins the Emotions.
I know a lot of people think that it is a good idea to shop early and to get things checked off the list of back-to-school things to do. And most kids can handle picking school supplies and back packs, even school clothes early and then putting them away to resume the fun that the rest of summer brings.
But for little Elizabeth, once that first pencil hit the cart, it would signal in Elizabeth that on the horizon was school. A place she loved but because it was new and a transition, would be a place that created anxiety in Elizabeth. She would begin asking about when the school year was starting and where she would be and more…. and I could see her anxiety rising.
What I wish I had known:
That while timing is everything, sometimes you just can’t control the world. It is better to recognize their emotions and what they are struggling with and learn how to help them cope and deal with these emotions.
I know that Elizabeth’s emotions did not go away once her items were in the closet, so I learned what she needed to navigate her feelings.
She needed a tour of the school and classroom way sooner than my other 2 kids to help her feel calmer as she waits for school to start. She needed a visual schedule to show her when school was starting. She needed her therapy music and low demands put on her the week before school started.
What worked for my other 2 kids did not fit her needs.
I learned about her depth of anxiety and it helped me in the future.
2.Meeting Once is Not Enough
Our kids are complex.
Imagine if someone tried, in one sitting, to explain your child to you.
Would you really know them?
How they would act at lunch?
Or what to do with a big emotion they are having?
I think no, you would need more time and more information.
What I wish I had known:
That this is the same with the teachers and support staff at school.
That “The Meet and Greet” night at school is not enough.
That they need all the information you can give but be prepare that it probably will need repeated.
That I needed to email the teacher and support staff Elizabeth’s IEP early to read and really know who she is.
That they need time to learn your child and their ways.
That I will probably be talking to the teacher often as the year started.
Once I learned this, I was able to better prepare and advocate for Elizabeth in the future.
- Don’t Rely on the School for Supplies.
Elizabeth’s IEP included a great number of things.
One of which was the plan for oral stimulation to be part of her speech time.
And brushing was to be included in her day to help with her sensory processing disorder.
This was all good until I went into the school in October to talk with the therapists about something and learned that one of the oral stim items was not there. And they didn’t have the correct brush
The therapists said that they were waiting for them.
Hmmm? But it was October. Which meant close to 2 months had passed.
Hmmm?!?!
I immediately went to get the correct supplies and delivered them to the school and they were very appreciative and I was perplexed and quite new at this at the time.
What I wish I had known:
That you can’t rely on the school to provide the supplies your child needs. Maybe you should be able to, but the reality is that it is just better to supply them yourself. You can make sure it is the correct item and that it is what your child is used to.
I made sure from this point on to make a kit that had in it the items we were currently using for Elizabeth, ones that went along with the IEP goals.
I never again relied solely on the school.
As I write this, I can think of about 100 other things that go along with these top 3 things because the journey with our kids takes us up, down, left and right. But the gift is that those that walked the path before you can offer help they learned to save others some of the hard work.
I hope that some of the words I share did that for someone.
I wish everyone good luck as you begin the big back to school transition.
See you next month!