Welcome to another installment of “The Talk with April Anderson.” This month, we’re excited to share practical feeding strategies for Thanksgiving—especially for families navigating the world of picky eaters, sensory-sensitive children, or feeding challenges. Let’s shift from tension at the table to a meal full of connection, curiosity, and joy.
Why Holidays Feel Hard (and What Success Really Means)
Thanksgiving is meant to be a time of gratitude, family, and good food — but for families of picky eaters, it can sometimes feel like a battlefield of bites. Between well-meaning relatives offering food “just to try,” sensory overload from new smells and textures, and the pressure to make mealtime “normal,” it’s easy for both parents and children to feel stressed.
As a speech-language pathologist specializing in feeding, I often remind families: the goal of holiday meals isn’t to get your child to eat the turkey — it’s to create positive experiences around food (so that maybe they will be interested in eating the turkey next year). When children feel safe, supported, and unpressured, their willingness to explore new foods grows over time.
Below are a few strategies I share with families (and use myself in therapy) to help make Thanksgiving more joyful and less stressful for everyone at the table.
1. Shift the Focus from Eating to Experience
It’s natural to want your child to eat the meal you’ve prepared. But for selective eaters, the first step is often tolerating the meal environment — not necessarily consuming the food.
Encourage your child to engage with the meal through non-eating experiences:
- Helping with mixing, mashing, or setting the table.
- Talking about the colors, smells, or shapes of different foods.
- Using descriptive words like “smooth,” “bumpy,” or “crunchy.”
These moments build familiarity and curiosity — two key ingredients in long-term feeding progress.
Therapist tip: If your child doesn’t eat anything new, that’s still okay. Exposure without pressure counts as progress.
Want more language ideas to spark curiosity? Explore our article for clinicians on supporting picky eating with descriptive coaching.
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2. Build a “Safe + Brave” Plate (Core Feeding Strategies)
When planning your child’s Thanksgiving plate, use the “safe + brave” formula:
- Safe foods: Items your child regularly eats and feels comfortable with.
- Brave foods: One or two new or less familiar options served in small, no-pressure portions.
This approach helps the child feel in control. They see familiar foods that communicate safety, but they also have the opportunity to explore something new — without the expectation to eat it. Understand that the food on their plate may not be a favorite for them today, but with time, it may turn into a maybe or sometimes food.
Therapist tip: Let your child serve themselves if possible. Even scooping a small amount of mashed potatoes or cranberry sauce can increase their sense of ownership and decrease resistance.
3. Manage Well-Meaning Family Pressure
Relatives often have the best intentions when they say things like:
“Just one bite!” or “You’ll love it — it tastes like chicken!”
But for a child who struggles with feeding challenges, these comments can heighten anxiety and make them less likely to eat. Before the meal, talk to your family members. You might say something like:
“We’re working on helping [child’s name] feel more comfortable around food. Please don’t ask them to eat or try anything. They’ll participate in their own way.”
This simple script aligns with responsive feeding strategies like the Division of Responsibility and keeps the focus on connection rather than compliance.
Therapist tip: Role-play this conversation ahead of time with a partner so that you feel confident and prepared.
4. Create Predictability in an Unpredictable Setting
Thanksgiving often brings new foods, people, and routines — all of which can overwhelm a child with sensory sensitivities. Predictability helps decrease anxiety.
Try:
- Previewing the meal: Show pictures or describe what foods will be served.
- Maintaining familiar routines: Keep nap times, snacks, or bedtime as close to normal as possible.
- Designating a calm space: Let your child know they can take a break if the environment becomes too stimulating.
Therapist tip: Comfort equals confidence. When children know what to expect, they’re more likely to explore and engage.
These adjustments particularly support children with autism who may have rigid eating habits or sensory sensitivities during holidays (Garey, 2025).
5. Model Joy and Gratitude
Children learn so much from observing adults. When you model enjoyment of food — describing its flavor, expressing gratitude, or savoring the meal — you show your child that eating can be a joyful experience.
Avoid making comments about how little or how much your child eats. Instead, focus on connection:
“I’m so glad we’re all together.”
“This stuffing smells amazing!”
“I love how you helped set the table.”
When the emphasis is on togetherness rather than consumption, the mealtime becomes meaningful for everyone.
If you want a deeper understanding of sensory-motor factors and practical home carryover, you might appreciate our courses and workshops.
Stuck on mealtime meltdowns? Build skills fast.
Too many battles at meals? Change the script.
Note: If your child has suspected medical or swallowing concerns, consult an SLP trained in pediatric feeding; SLPs assess and treat pediatric feeding and swallowing disorders (American Speech-Language-Hearing Association, n.d.).
Final Thoughts
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a test of how “good” an eater your child is. It can be an opportunity for growth, sensory exploration, and family connection. By shifting from pressure to positivity, you’re not only reducing stress for your child — you’re planting the seeds for a lifelong healthy relationship with food.
So this year, celebrate progress in all its forms. Whether your child smells a new food, licks the mashed potatoes, or simply enjoys sitting with family, those are victories worth being thankful for.
From one feeding therapist to your family — may your Thanksgiving be filled with patience, laughter, and joy (and maybe a few brave bites).