Quick answer: When routines change, even strong skills can “backslide.” Practicing good habits helps us most. I STOP, pause my cues, and remember Elizabeth can do it and knows she can.
Practicing good habits has been on my mind a lot lately. I am about 4 months out from the fall that broke my leg. It happened on November 2. It has been quite the journey since. It has also been about 1 month since I gave up the crutches (or rather got permission to do so).
I am still relearning to walk. I am in physical therapy, but I look okay. Now I can do a lot of things again. When you are on crutches, you can do very little besides crutch from point A to point B.
Because I can do more now, Elizabeth hasn’t had to help me as much. And for those who don’t know, she was the BEST helper when I couldn’t walk.
Practicing Good Habits after a routine change
Since she hasn’t had to help me as much, I have noticed a small backslide. For example, she looks to me for cues again. Before, she did those same things fully on her own.
I also catch myself giving little nods. Those nods help her keep her focus. In the past, she handled tasks without my cues and nods.
(For more on our long therapy journey and what helped, see A Parent’s Perspective: Navigating the Therapy World.)
Practicing Good Habits: The lesson for me is STOP
Now comes my lesson, and it is simple: STOP.
Stop and think.
Then remember she can do it.
Also remember she KNOWS she can.
What I need to stop doing
I need to remember to:
- Stop indicating things I know she knows.
- Stop nodding toward the things she needs to take.
- Stop reminding her of things she can do on her own.
We both need to avoid sliding back into the familiar. It was wonderful to see her break new ground and show beautiful growth. I don’t want us to go back.
Dyspraxia makes habits hard to change. It can also make change feel even harder. Still, this is the time to keep moving forward.
(If you want an “independence mindset” post that pairs well with this, see “Stop & Teach”: Achieving Independence for Your Special Needs Child.)
Moving forward, one small pause at a time
Basically, we are both learning how to navigate this next little bit of life together. That includes me seeing the highest peak of her independence and wanting her to stay there.
Elizabeth is an incredible person. She has grown and shown so much. I need to remember that. She also needs to remember she is capable, no matter what circumstance we are in.
I will let you know how this goes next month.
I wish everyone a good month!!
Michele Gianetti
FAQ
Why do kids backslide after they’ve learned a skill?
A change in routine or support can bring back old patterns, especially when a child is used to prompts or cues.
What’s one simple thing a parent can do to reduce backsliding?
Pause your prompts. Give extra processing time and let your child try before stepping in.
How does dyspraxia affect habit change?
Dyspraxia is a motor planning challenge, and it can make learning and changing habits harder, so consistency and repetition matter.