Happy New Year!
When the ball drops the resolutions begin.
I am a firm believer in avoiding resolutions for many reasons personally but related to our lives with our children it is because I think that the changes we make for us and our kids are made in real time not just when the countdown from 10 is over.
Facing their real needs.
Facing their real concerns.
And adjusting as we see fit.
Basically, we do these very resolution type things, but we do them on a random Tuesday in March at 9:30 when suddenly our child is in overload and we are called to figure out why and then make the needed changes.
The changes we resolve to now consider important and changes we will be doing from here on out.
So, what is New Year’s about for my world? It is about marking time, gratitude and perspective
Because as the ball drops so does it begin the marker of time.
A year has passed.
Time has passed.
And, this is from my life and perspective, I cannot but help feel it. I feel time passing.
I also feel this incredible need to mentally walk down the memory lane of the previous year and see just where Elizabeth was the last time we counted down and watched the ball drop.
I can’t help it.
I do it January 1.
I do it again on birthdays
And again, when the new school year starts.
All markers of time.
So I allow myself to look backwards and see what growth has been made and what is still a struggle for Elizabeth. Did she say this word?, Do this skill?, Handle stress better?….
The questions are many.
And what is it I do with this information?
Well, for the good things? I rejoice and thank God for the growth, and I allow myself to feel a sense of renewed energy to keep the good going.
For the tough things? I also allow myself to feel the not so good feelings. I do this for just a little bit. Then I take a hard look at the big picture and make plans to help with some of these struggles for the next year.
There have been 26 new years that Elizabeth has experienced with us.
And each one was celebrated.
Each one was probably different in many ways but the same in so many ways as well.
Because the disorders that Elizabeth has don’t quit. Her sensory processing disorder (SPD) and global dyspraxia affect her life, all day, each and everyday. So, as we learned how she works, we have worked to make the holidays happy and fun for her and the family in a way that works for her.
This includes knowing when to say when, having a plan B and on and on.
But the one thing I am each year is grateful for Elizabeth being in my/our lives
Our special kids bring so much to our lives. Daily!
Elizabeth has taught us more than I ever thought possible, she is love, pure love, she is tough and strong and happy. Man, is she happy.
She shows us the sunsets, slows us down when we are too busy to notice the beauty.
She gives the best hugs possible.
She was and is worth everything we have ever done and will do for her as I am sure your child is to you.
I think the thing that is remarkable for our new year is that with our special kids the new year comes perspective. They work harder than others for things that should just come naturally to them. And they keep working and working.
So, I guess, recognizing time passing, perspective and grateful sums up my New Year with our Elizabeth
The last thing I think I try not to do as the new year begins is to compare.
I try to rejoice at her gains and not compare what she SHOULD be doing with what she IS doing. Because as I just said, she worked so darn hard for that gain that it would be incredibly dismissive to think it’s just not good enough.
Your child and their successes will be yours to celebrate, don’t let anything dim that.
I offer that I try to not compare. I join Elizabeth on her journey and praise her growth.
A last bit of advice
I have learned a lot. A whole, whole lot in these years with Elizabeth and one thing I offer is be kind to you as you feel, plan, resolve or now resolve to not resolve.
Take the good, work through the tough but don’t doubt yourself or what you give to your child.
We are on paths we never knew were ours to take and we need to give ourselves grace and love as we continue to walk the journey.
And wish ourselves and our special child a Happy New Year as begin the next chapter in their story.